Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
