ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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