so that wasnt chicken after all
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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