I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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