Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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