Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They have beer where we have blood.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i think im in europe. pls send help
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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