just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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