Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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