you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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