There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
