well most of my day revolves around power hour
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
