don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
