I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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