Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
