I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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