sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
