Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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