He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
