I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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