Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
