then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
