I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
