Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
