You really coming over, don't trick.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
