dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
