we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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