That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
