is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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