so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
