you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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