R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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