just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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