there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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