How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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