you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
