Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
