Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
