I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize