she was so not down for the gang bang
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
