How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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