I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
