he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
