One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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