Non-Jews are for practice
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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