did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
