From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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