Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
