i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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