We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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