just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
