I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize