very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
