I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
