I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
