I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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