she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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