Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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