It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm getting married
To pizza
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
