I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Damn victory sex feels great
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
