But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
