you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
