feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
