its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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