A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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