He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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