Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
