What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
