I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
