This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize