Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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