Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think a kid would responsible me up
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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